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I have reason to believe that my mother is mentally ill and my father is cheating on my mother.
What does this mean? Well, I don't want to live with any of them as much as I love them both.
My mom goes into raging episodes where she goes and attacks my dad's things (like laptops, phones, etc.). She usually manages to take and break them. This happens when my dad calls her names and curses her (passed away) mom.
My dad is becoming someone I don't know.
He doesn't want to do anything. He wants us to do everything. Put up Christmas tree, make our own food, clean the house, do the shopping.
What he doesn't understand is that the oldest (me) is 15, the middle child is 14 and the youngest one is 11. They're ruining our lives. Not allowing us for any say. My mom tells him that she wants a divorce, and he tells her to go set one up. She tells him she doesn't have the money for it, he says good.
I want them to divorce, or at least to separate. I can't live my life, im crying all the time because of them. I have to stop them from arguing I don't know what to do.
This has been going on for 4 years, non stop. Im doing horrible at school, I have 3 essays due this Monday, and I HAVE to be the one babysitting them, making sure no one breaks anything.
I have a party tonight with great responsibility, and I feel like I can't go because of my parents'\ argumental personalities.
I don't know how much help ill get from children's help phone. But I really want this to end. Im actually thinking of running away. I also know that this is a temporary problem, and suicide is a permanent solution (which is why it's stupid to think about it). but honestly, if I have no choice, Im just going to stop my life. Im crying soo bad as I type this, I have no idea what to do. I just want to run away with my phone and tell them that once they solve their problems to call me.
I can go to a friend's house.
My dad doesn't want to put up this Christmas tree for unknown reasons, all he wants to do is go to the gym and lose wait, I know he might be in his mid-life crisis, but this is horrible!
Please help me. I can't just keep venting, my eyes will dry up from the tears that I once had.
Thanks for reading this long, unnecessary problem
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I'm no psychologist, but I think I might be able to help just a little bit.
1) Remember how important you are here. Take a step back and try to see your life as an outsider. Think of someone you look up to. what would they do in this situation. You are the oldest and the most mature around, after your parents. Your little siblings need you right now to give them support. They're really young and they probably don't understand this anymore than you do. You really should give your mother support the best you can - and get your siblings to help if you can. Try to take your hurt, anger and sadness and use that to give you the energy to do all that.
2) You are fifteen - you've got your whole life ahead of you. We can't choose our family - we really have no say in the matter. But what we do get to decide, is what we're going to do about our situation. Don't just absorb yourself in what's going on at home. Get out from tme to time. Go ice-skating or do something you love to do. Tell yourself that you're going to do it to give you the strength to face your fears and to enable you proactively make it through. Maybe save up a little money and take your siblings out. They look up to you as their older sister/brother and they need someone to give them support and hope. That's your parent's job, but since for whatever reason they're not, you can and should.
3) Don't ever, ever lose hope. Remember that no matter what happens, you're going to grow up, get your license and make the life you want to have. Don't lose sight of the fact that you are beautiful as you, that you can make it through because happiness is your birthright and you know it!
4) Help yourself! It doesn't really look like anyone can do that for you! Visit your local library or the school one and Read books on success and happiness. Here are a couple of things you should see, because they will be extremely helpful!
read
the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens'
watch the movie "The Secret"
5) And finally, don't give up on your parents. They still love you, care about you and want the bst for you, even if they never say it. I'm sorry you're i such a difficult situation and I'm sorry you're feeling so down and frustrated, but I want you to know that God would never put you in a situation unless he knew that you were strong enough to overcome this. It's a sure sign that you're capable. You just have to act on it
For now, right away, watch the first 20 Min's of The Secret:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_b1GKGWJb…
Don't worry. Everything is going to be okay. And YOU can make that happen.
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I'm really glad I could help!
So you're welcome and thanks for taking my advice. :)
Have a nice day,
DreamBIG
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